The hardest thing about being a Christian…

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind…” 1 Corinthians 10:13

The last few weeks, have been both ugly and intriguing; mainly because they have been exposing my reasoning process and how I think about myself…let’s just say, I need TONS of work! Just a small moment of transparency: I’m in a place of redefining almost everything about myself, not from a cosmetic place of vanity, but of place of reconstruction from doing surgery on myself throughout the years. In this season, God is showing me the entrepreneurial side HE’s given me and I mean It has taken ALOT to get to the point of choosing to acknowledge and work this thing. I’ve always been a church girl, everything and anything church, I know. That’s where I believe my strength is… anything but business, economics or contracts. I’ve treated like the unattractive guy that always asks where his hugs at (* I know*). *Le sigh* Well, picture that being your entire year, trying to avoid this delusional guy and his forced perspective of the pleasure of your hugs.. God has been forcing me to face those things that bring discomfort and it has exposed me to me.

Now, over the course of these last couple of weeks, I’ve had a few encounters and conversations that have challenged my anger in some places….( that’s the nice way of saying I wanted to cruse a few people out, now that’s transparent!) The crazy thing is, these comments, people and conversations really haven’t been that big of a deal, they’ve all just been contradictory to what I prefer to hear, be spoken to or believe. I’d take what they said or written and blow it up in my mind and then encourage myself to stay offended, so now I’m imagining the proper response: leaving them to the mercy of the unsaved Aeriel. Although I was never a very confrontational person out of fear of catching cases and reprimands, I’ve taught myself to at least, as an appetizer , to curse the person out; throughout the years, I had it down to a science and could win awards for the colorful and unintelligent parade of words I’d throw at them, sad, yeah I know. Although, I don’t curse anymore, that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten how to or even have the urge to.

The issue here is addressing the urge, not only to want to behave outside of myself, but to literally fall into temptation. That’s a problem. Many times we limit temptation to some form of physical pleasure like sex, drugs and alcohol; yet we neglect the desire to be gluttonous, to destroy something or someone. Oxford defines temptation as: “the urge to do something, typically bad or wrong.” [1] The thing about temptation is that it gives the presumption of enjoyment and satisfaction but has the promise of sin in the fine print. The choice to not participate in an action that we know is wrong, feels validating that we’ve become the picture of being a child of God, however, the issue is the desire to want to do it. We sin in our hearts before we commit any action. Proverbs 23:7: “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” Once we agree with the thought, we commit sin and are in need of grace. The hardest thing about being a Christian, in my opinion, is getting to the point where the thought of sinning doesn’t come to mind. Where someone could offend me and I won’t have the desire, at the time nor the future want to tell them off.

Learning to kill the entertainment of the thought, no matter what it is. Whether you’re struggling with anger, sexual immorality, lust or gluttony, the struggle starts in the mind, not with the hinderance of the action. Be blessed and continue to Grow Thru it!

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