I didn’t know I didn’t believe God.

“No, don’t say that. Who are you, a mere human being, to argue with God? Should the thing that was created say tot he one who created it, “why have you made me like this?”” Romans 9: 20

Hey guys, long time no see or write! It’s been a good minute since we’ve talked, so I must say happy quarantine to everyone. Outside of productivity debates, toilet paper droughts and sprinting for disinfectant, I’ve been highly uncomfortable within myself. God has been pulling on me to do more in ministry, but the thing that’s always been my problem is my own POV of me. Now I’m not one to announce to the world my insecurities and altered self- esteem, but it is what it is and what it is, is keeping me from doing what I’ve been called to do.

This morning I got up and decided to spend some time in the Word, after prayer, I asked God to lead me where He wants me to start and He did. He gave me Romans chapters 4-10 and the whole thing is about having faith in God and how your faith is credited as righteousness. What’s righteousness??  It’s having the quality of being moral, morally sound or justifiable. So, God counts us as moral, if we believe Him and in His decisions. (Romans 4:1-5, Ch. 9:14-24) you know what I’m getting at right? Yep, even trusting His decision in choosing you is apart of having faith. So many times, we only apply faith for hard things like depletion whether in health or finances, that we limit our relevance in God’s plan to Him getting us out of trouble. We’ve been groomed, especially in the African-American community, to expect God in the tribulation of life and to praise Him through all of it, which we should do. Yet, we come up light on realizing how right God is in everything He does, including creating you!

If you’re like me, the opinion of people has tainted my view of myself and believe me, it’s not something we may realize instantly! Let alone admit it to ourselves. I don’t want to make this post super long, so here’s the gist of everything. Having faith to believe every word of the Bible, faith to believe that Jesus died for our sins and is our reigning savior, having faith that God is alive and well isn’t enough if we don’t have faith in ourselves. Why? Because, it shows that we don’t completely believe in His word and that means we don’t believe God, and that means we have no faith in Him and all that means, we are immoral!

God gives us so many different scriptures that validate our existence, as intentional, intimate and essential in His ultimate plan. We are literally essential workers!! We’ve always been essential; we have to go to serve a population that needs our service and despite the conditions we must serve! God will provide for us the Personal Protection Equipment (PPE) needed to endure the atmosphere in order to do so, so if you weren’t essential to the kingdom, He wouldn’t give us life and provision we need to grow. If the world has done this in order to keep essential businesses open, why wouldn’t our Father in heaven?! He’s been doing this since the Genesis 1:1!

 We have to believe in His ability to use us, with everything we know about ourselves, He still wants to use us! Before this study I had no idea how important is was to believe in myself through Him. Doubting ourselves in the area of our call and ability is doubting God’s decision. We have to sacrifice the obsession of seeing our limits and chose to see Him above our desire to stay hidden, his will is the goal, you can do this with HIM!


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