“According to My earnest expectation and hope, that I will not be put to shame in anything, but that with all boldness, Christ will even now, as always, be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.” – Philippians 1:20
The title…I know right. After living for 29 years, I’ve been dating since I was 15 years old and have been aligning my actions to a Christian lifestyle for about 6-7 years. The crazy thing is, I thought aligning my life with God’s will mainly consisted of the death of my sex and party life,. (another conversation for another blog). Yet, I find it interesting that ever since I decided to close my legs until marriage, I have to admit, dating has been nonexistent. Seriously! A guy may show interest, ask for my number or DM me. After a little bit of conversation, it doesn’t take long for me to know that the guy lives his life the way I used to. Usually, they send a message that suggests dropping by after only an appetizer of dialogue in under a week and then expect to experience my birth canal! Ridiculous and hazardous to say the least, and this can be another conversation so let’s stick to the topic. The last date I’ve been on was years ago and after the guy looked at my IG and even asked if I was a minister for confirmation based off what he had seen on my feed, he didn’t think my abstinence commitment was real. Because who would in their right mind, ya know. So, you could imagine my face, when the disappointment that I’m a Christian, Christian sobered him up. I have to admit, I haven’t been on a date since then. Once the news of my abstinence hits their ears, they usually back off, and trust me, I’m never offended but appreciative. After that encounter, although I hate to admit it, I shuddered thinking that this was a peak into my new dating life. That’s when it occurred to me, that since other areas of my life were changing, that this one should as well, but how? Other than abstaining from sex, what else is there?
Dating, before Christ, was rooted in what I could get out of it and no, not trying to see how deep his pockets were. For me, personally, I was primarily looking for great sex, humor and how much could he distract me from my own foolery. I did hope that maybe he was looking for long term love and eventually marriage and kids, but I never put my hopes in the happily ever after. I knew what kind of guys I was dealing with. I was a newly scorned and bitter woman, looking to make victims not meet a husband. Even when I did want a serious relationship, I felt foolish for it. Dating under the conviction of Christ places a responsibility to God and myself. First and foremost, for respect. To not allow myself to submit under the disrespect of using my body or emotions outside of their purpose to accomplish mine. As well as refusing myself to be used by anyone for anything outside of God’s will.
Kudos to me, because that sounds great and all but what does that really mean? Checking to see if what I expect from myself, matches with God’s expectation of me and His character. What do I expect to give or see while dating? How do I define love, gentleness, or even a man for that matter? We’ll this is turning out to be a series…let’s get into it! More in the next entry.
Feel free to drop comments of your experiences or advice!