Lemme start first by saying, I misused it. I used it for distraction, “stress relief” and entertainment.
There! The mystery is gone. Beyond the misuse of it, I damaged myself for the sake of exploration and the delusion of deserving to do what I want as a”grow” woman. Yep, and that landed me in Salt pits with open wounds. It’s funny how questions in a group chat become my entries, but I asked my besties this question. They paused and as type bubbles appeared and reappeared over the course of seconds, I could feel the hesitant answers of “No” and “I never really thought about it.”
Me neither. It had never crossed my mind to give my sex life over to Christ. I guess I thought it was an automatic surrender when I accepted salvation. One thing I’ve learned while on this walk, is that we’re constantly giving over pieces of our lives to Christ. As time goes on, we witness how God challenges and transforms our defaults, only after we give him access. Although I embraced abstinence and deleted numbers, I didn’t realize I hadn’t let God challenge that space, until someone knocked on that door and it wasn’t Jesus. *side eye*
As single believers, most of us are focused on ministry, life, work etc.. and unless it was a addiction or major focal point of our carnal life, most of us don’t think about opening the door to our past sex life unless it’s provoked by a trigger: a text, a recalled memory from a song or movie scene. For some of us, it could become a trap into those former things.
so here’s why we need to give our sex lives over to Christ:
Abstinence doesn’t denote deliverance.
Everyone’s process is different, so for some, abstinence may be the result of deliverance, while for others, it’s not. The act of using something the outside of God’s intention is a matter of mindset. Changed behavior, doesn’t kill the root of it and can show up another way that has nothing to do with sex. Our thoughts and beliefs fuel our actions. Letting God correct our thoughts about sex helps us achieve true deliverance and not the look of it.
“And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.” Mark 7:20-23
Teaches us to respect our own bodies and each other’s
Inviting God into our sex lives provides the opportunity to learn about the importance of our body.
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” 1 Corinth 6: 18-20
In the above verse, it tells us that with sexual immorality, we sin against ourselves. What does that mean? In short, violation, pollution and to offend. This is the only sin in where we offend or violate ourselves…why? because, we are physical temples for the holy spirit. We’re placing a “condemned” sign on our own property saying that we’re uninhabitable to the Holy Spirit.
Teaches us to respect the gift of sex, marriage and reproduction in their proper use.
I had a relative of a friend ask where my husband was. Mind you this was years ago, and I answered him with a furrowed brow and told him I don’t have one, never have. He said, well, have you had sex I answered, “yeah”. He says just as smooth as water, “well, you DO have a husband.” Touché, my friend’s weird uncle. As I sat there, checked, I had nothing to say except, “you’re right.” I was already married. Marriage is sealed not with a ceremony and electric slides, but with consummation. In today’s society if a marriage isn’t consummated, it’ll be annulled. That says volumes! Sex is much more than a dopamine fest and stories for comparison later, but it’s signing a contract and possible making a life with someone who isn’t in covenant with you.
The beauty of marriage, sex and all that comes with that, should be respected and handled properly, you should be handled properly. You should handle you properly. Let God into your sex life and allow him to change your mind about how to handle it, before a temptation arises. You’ve got this!